Lots of marriages fail
Is the answer to live with someone before you buy in ?" Rules of Engagement" TV series seems to test the water on this .My generation thought you didn't need rules -- you just got 'married " Strangely the program is good in name only like so much TV - talks but does not deliver . No rules , no engagements but lots of testing and little discussion of consequences ( like "walk of shame" )You get to see what happens but ad infintum and with no real understanding to lift the situation
I feel for young people because their parents don't even know why their faith in marriage and happiness didn't work . The sixth commandment says how it works and so does experience . Is marriage the problem or their understanding of it the problem ?Infidelity breaks it for one .
Does shacking up with someone help you decide? Not if baby boomers experience is evidence - many tried -few succeeded in that . If you are going to share house share it with lots of people and not your bed . Extra people in marriage will threaten the sense of security in both parties whether its before the event or after.
To make a good decision in marriage you need to practice observation NOT participation cause the person you choose will be for life .You are studying to make the BEST decision of your life ---takes time wisdom and self control.You don't learn that in the pressure cooker .
Its also not a new idea . It happened to Boomers . Many got married because they thought happiness was automatically connected to the institution .Clearly it is NOT.
With so many marriage failures around them young people are still not so sure how to proceed - fair enough. but
Is the answer to live with someone before you buy in ? How can anyone be clear when marriage is still the objective for most but known infidelity is the way to kill it . The baby is in their somewhere,and commitment to one person and self restraint are absolutely necessary. You don't learn restraint shacking up with someone.
While it is nothing new , shacking up together is still seen as the new and better way ---as they say ?
That too has been well tried by baby boomers and the rate of failure and damage there is very high .Don't just watch the TV, watch real people.
Anyway here it comes again from one young person . you be the judge.
Thanks for sharing young ones but I would not recommend the practice esp if the ten good reasons you give are the best you can find - IMO you shouldn't even live with someone alone if you can't work that out from observing ( participants cannot be objective). Groups ( shared house ) are better than one to one .
Young Lady 1
Young person 2