The violence inside

If you are afraid to get married , you may well have reason to be .
But often not good enough reasons . Since anger has been banished from the lexicon of acceptable behaviors in the West westerners are afraid of anger -- and aren't able to deal with it . See previous posts on anger and depression ( the two conditions can be related)
Take smacking a child . Lions and mature cubs do it to young cubs so why are post Christian humans in the West ( Muslims have no problem with teaching restraint )  suddenly afraid to send quick pain messages to their children.smack the limb before it gets burned !Understand that the yell and the growl can be linked to pain .
    
The answer is that post Christian people have an incomplete and blinkered understanding of the place of anger and the idea of other drivers and dangers.,Its almost as though only adrenalin, physiology and DNA matters - they even talk as if everything in the mind is just a construct ( to be ridiculed )
: Evil , according to the recent illusion , is from external sources and therefore the behaviour of others is in focus  ."DNA rules and your mind is irrelevant ". A more complete view of drivers and responses in nature is needed.
The fear seems to stem from the failure of a rational argument on ONE driver to solve the complex problem of many interrelated drivers . For a scientist or a big thinker this is reasonable . The problem is how do any of us do it without getting a headache?
 

Christians reject the common, popular but shallow idea that we are driven by natural drivers ,( eg seeing violence means we will act violent)  ; we say its more complex than that ; there is a violence inside and it's up to us to exercise control over the internal drivers. Christians believe in facing the drivers and dealing with them ; training and teaching your body and mind require strong resistance- the word restraint is not in vogue amongst the modern rebels  even though its always needed to live in the world .

This is not an ideal world , but it is far far better caring parents teach restraint to the will from their parents than from those who don't care when they are teenagers or older. 

This is what we do to teach children about the real world outside .Children are not in charge and they will not always get what they want .The more you restrain unreasonable rebellion early, the less you have to do it later.  Its a parents choice to decide WHEN in love they HAVE to do it - Its not a choice if you and the nannies insist it is not a choice .

Yes there is a risk that we go too far - anger is normal and right is also normal ; Avoiding risk,  like avoiding admission of righteous anger doesn't make it go away . see earlier posts on anger and how to deal with it . 

It's only being realistic to face the restraint of the will early .

As Dr Phyl identifies each day - is the problem due to external factors or internal ones?