Give honor to those in Authority

 (Queen Elizabeth died this week )

Love how the Joe and Josephine Blows of our  world in their millions are celebrating the Queen (Queen Elizabeth died this week ) and the idea of a head of State that is beyond politics. There is a sense of unity there that doesn't and can't be spelt out in Law.  

Their queen was like the one who footsteps she followed in was  a listener . 

The usurpers are in a muddle, but we all go into a huddle and rejoice because there is something beyond  the pretences of power . All our power is still weakness and failure   and we must at time s admit it and go forward in a way which accepts the truth .  We must know love to  really move on 

Was talking to a friend recently who feels he never told his now deceased mother that he loved her. 

We both realized ( thinking about our parents and their imperfections ) that if we remembered that our duty is to honor our parents and not necessarily to agree with them, we could say " I love you "( and they back on the same basis )  without hesitation . 

As we were taught by the Master , we don't have to agree with everything you say or did  but we can still love you, It's more that a feeling,  its acceptance and forgiveness and something we should strive to say to each other just as it has been said to us . 

We need to see past what our parents knew to what the tribe knows

 Peterson is reminding us baby boomers that we need to go back, look at what our parents lived by  (eg good and bad , sloppy and self-centered , weak and weak willed ) and get out of the cul de sacs we went off on before we can go forward https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rc_NNjV0s1o

Born to Love

Went to hear the Waifs last night , and this great song title of theirs gives real inspiration .
We are all born to love !
But as Tina said --- where is it today ?
When our reason fails us on this ,  we need to go back and find foundations .
Such foundations can take some finding...but this is one is a good start .

You were born to chase the good .
and good  is the mental equipment  YOU have to do that . No one needs to tell you whats right but you need to be reconciled within yourself about whats wrong with you .
You have  failed to live up to whats right.
You have been weak when being strong is your calling .
Your rationale is probably suspect at times -- just as mine is 

We know this truth too about love .
We sometimes have to cruel to be kind " which in itself reminds us that to be deterministically rational may just get us confused ,
Truth is in a tension ; a paradox .
Sometimes truth is blocked by our own reason and sometimes its just beyond anyone's reasoning.

Options --contrasting ways to think about and getting on with loving    
1. Rationalize yourself into it . -many who don't want to introduce unknown forces into this world want us to never make a decision till we have weighed up what we know- they say - to be thoroughly responsible we have to be thoroughly rational and vice versa  .IMO this is a very limiting way to both think and live.
This ideology  is asking us to think and act on  incomplete information ( and maybe using emotion and rationalized emotion ) but then just leaves us at that point  -  a cop out bottom line convenience buy-- I am saying that , what we need , as our emotions and minds are connected  is  a holding position mechanism -  a way of  suspending disbelief ..
What we all do know from human experience is that we don't know . "What's love got to do with anything" 

If ever there there was anything that's subject to rational abuse its love talk. To  accept that its part of the structure of life  is not enough when we want to use it -- rationally... .  Can anyone resolve all problems by being specifically rational about their interpretation of whats  good in a situation? . If

Love is not what we want it to be, who tells us what it is ?  Whats promoted as love as Tina turner says is often anything but .  Isn't any automatic presumption  of love  being love specifically dangerous as its products in politics shows . " You need to die because you are not as fit as I am and there are too many people in the world"  .For good of all - That's natural rational love-- isn't it?


2. Born to love comes from beyond these earthly shores    To have reasons beyond reason ability is not irrational,  but possibly big picture wise . If we accept an answer as beyond reason and beyond your knowledge of our worlds  natural forces you may have a chance of getting beyond reason to then better rationalize your experience .Its a worth a try , because no one really knows how the world really work , except that it invites romance and wonder .   
Taking on assumptions you don't fully understand is not always easy,  but it is how we learn .  Assuming   Karma ,  Justice and Judgement  and fairness may help us learn and learn to love . If there was just only kindness without justice that would make that form of kindness a terrible uncaring ( even irrational )  thing

Take the ABC's question "are humans inherently kind" ?  This question highlights the inadequacy of the  post modern position 1  -
Position No 2 assumes we are more than structure and  we have freedom to choose love . kindness or cruelty.  There is pressure from population and place,  but is crude number control the answer 4 us ?
Love has to do with possibilities and there are, as before, lots of possibilities for people in this world .

What we do know if we ever grow up  is that we sometimes have to cruel to be kind.
So love is a bit  about timing, not being superficial  and being disagreeable like our mothers and our wives can ( not aiming ) to be  .  ( Note These 3 amigo rules that are not always acceptable in a court of moral law )

3. Thinking completely outside the square 
If kindness is  the weak force of Nature ,  maybe its the one that holds it together ( a lesson from recent cosmology ?) If God is not good,  we have all the reason we nred to be bad

Biologically we are not inherently anything,  but a structure in which forces can operate ; Forces of chemistry physiology etc - An amazing creation - that has the freedom to choose  for good or for ill .For self or for the body.    So you are happy in yourself and your own logic then are you ?

The biggest mistake any generation make is to blame the structure and deny the freedom of choice . Is that what the epistemological despair of our own generation all about  -denying ourselves choice when it suits us to deny it  ? The genes made me do it /
Modelling is how the Christian faith grew to be seen to be a workable philosophy. Testing a faith is a good way to build/ destroy a foundation - following Christ's way  has stood the test of time
Our psyches tell us we all have a religion of sorts and quite logically OUR rational for using them , on the above logic must be at times,  quite unreliable .
That means a  belief , or something like Karma,  doesn't always makes complete sense to a pedant ,  a flanuers  or your everyday chatterer on the net.      Don't go figure ...go test!

Who cares  if you are a bit of a romantic .... if it works ?



Martin Luther King wrote the book  "Free to love" . another way to live foundation idea;  to love we need to be free to love
Modern determinists  are all wrong in trying to say we are one thing or the other ; this  leads people to say  groups are either good or bad -- this 'ism"  ism    is not truth but projection . see JB Peterson's rule on housekeeping intelligence.

Martin Luther reminds us we are a duality  . he learned the hard way ( by striving to be good ) that we are need a way forward from a dilemma we face every day. Read his 1600 booklet "On being a Christian" .

Domestic violence is on the increase - and what are men doing about it?

.

Things are clearly getting worse in domestic households and women are pretty desperate for answers , Its frustrating for them that men seem less interested or are quietly critical of their approach. Big subject

What is very understandable is women's feelings for the treatment of their own kind and especially those who look after children.The growing numbers of mothers who are stuck economically and emotionally .

There is a lot of momentum coming from people like ABC's @Bairdjulia. I am not surprised that the "sexually liberated" females have realised, without thinking or speaking about it openly ,that they too are not feeling very liberated. Another huge hornets nest , Many of their mothers tried to warn them about the consequences of their choices. One who speaks through this dilemma is Bettina Arndt Lack of answers and shaming ( some see the above statement as this ) leads to bad answers and blaming and projection. Take 1 Distracting trivia about % of women in high office The women who run ABC The Drum and 7:30 reports are at the top of the tree . The preoccupation with a persons "position on the tree" is, for me a sign of intellectual poverty; Who wants to be playing games at the top- only those who have never been there ?. Have they not watched and been involved in " Line of duty " ( that great series on Netflix) work

Take 2 The mere male and boy amongst us

To blame men in general is wrong ( men have a place in rearing children and many women are denying them that ) and distractionary. Both parties aren't learning about things like dispute resolution (" UR too soft , Ur too hard ") , roles and values ( is it natural for the woman to do the nurturing....... and MI ....what is nurturing ..?) and anger management ( "Be angry don't sin and talk about it before you go to sleep at night ") -- Rather than facing and being reconciled to anger as it is in both parties, many are in denial of it in themselves , hoping to avoid its consequences and the worst to come in DV if its not deal with TODAY.

To not deal with it daily ( as the teaching implies ) is a sure sign of worse things coming up .

Reminds me of politics - so much politics is reactionary not radical ( goes back to the root of the problem or what worked in our parents generation) . For eg "what's different in the modern family and how we think about conflict resolution ? "

Want love -- Start here !

Love her honesty ,  the substance of building good relationships and the hint . the hint of shame . Great book recently about shaming and our need for forgiveness. . 

https://www.ted.com/talks/mandy_len_catron_falling_in_love_is_the_easy_part?utm_campaign=social&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=t.co&utm_content=talk&utm_term=social-science

The search for a good man

Stop looking -you have found him  Nuh Sorry I am as bad as the rest. Marry me and you marry trying to change the immovable and even when I am at my best,  I make decisions for her without consulting her .
As I said below( in the post below)  no woman is ever going to find a happy man if both of you are not allowed to get angry .
My problem with modern reactions to domestic violence is they often fear violence rather than understand  it

Maybe the same is true for the kids
.Children need to sense , not that their parents don't fight ( cause we all know they will) but how they do it ,when they do it and how they work for reconciliation. Modelling .
Sure anger risks violence but we must know and accept where the different types  come from . Life is best with understanding not fear (as much domestic violence  is --as is as a product to not show denying it as an naturally useful thing internally driven thing we must manage)  .
Popular superficial myth making says anger is a sin . This is crap so the result of this PC talk is that things go underground :
 If there is no outwardly angry man or woman,  there will be plenty of repressed anger around (when the PC perverse morality version of anger is enthroned)
TYPES OF ANGER
Does the anger come from self will stamping like a child can show or is it" trespass good and proper", Is it based on "not getting your way "or "seeing others resisting whats good for them or the country"
Despite the simple moral talk , there is such a thing as right anger
 .
MARTIN LUTHER has been crossed off the good books for a long time because he said some truly terrible things about groups of people . While I am not here to defend that,he was a passionate man who "Table talk "and anecdotal notes suggests something close to the closest thing to domestic bliss any of us could hope for .Luther was truly human and taught how to live as a failing human being.
His small catechism for children is exquisitely remembered by many of us for the way it draws us into accepting the need for some rules in life; For drawing us into the love of God .

Apparently his wife Kattie was an aristocrat and well organised and when  he , the swearing peasant who never had to be careful what he said,  got together--- they made lots of good music.
 Luther finally realized he learnt something from her . Quite something for  a man to admit.
Can a good woman ask for anything more than that?.


Can the world not celebrate a man who ,for his faults,demonstrated in real life that any man however bad , can be subject to the grace and forgiveness of God. Know it ,celebrate it, teach it.
Can the world not celebrate a man who just by showing great political and personal courage showed the world a real man's way forward that has lasted to the present day .More on facebook page Real Men

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3AOKSMl-GXLaVphdm5NNW95NVU/view?usp=sharing

The violence inside

If you are afraid to get married , you may well have reason to be .
But often not good enough reasons . Since anger has been banished from the lexicon of acceptable behaviors in the West westerners are afraid of anger -- and aren't able to deal with it . See previous posts on anger and depression ( the two conditions can be related)
Take smacking a child . Lions and mature cubs do it to young cubs so why are post Christian humans in the West ( Muslims have no problem with teaching restraint )  suddenly afraid to send quick pain messages to their children.smack the limb before it gets burned !Understand that the yell and the growl can be linked to pain .
    
The answer is that post Christian people have an incomplete and blinkered understanding of the place of anger and the idea of other drivers and dangers.,Its almost as though only adrenalin, physiology and DNA matters - they even talk as if everything in the mind is just a construct ( to be ridiculed )
: Evil , according to the recent illusion , is from external sources and therefore the behaviour of others is in focus  ."DNA rules and your mind is irrelevant ". A more complete view of drivers and responses in nature is needed.
The fear seems to stem from the failure of a rational argument on ONE driver to solve the complex problem of many interrelated drivers . For a scientist or a big thinker this is reasonable . The problem is how do any of us do it without getting a headache?
 

Christians reject the common, popular but shallow idea that we are driven by natural drivers ,( eg seeing violence means we will act violent)  ; we say its more complex than that ; there is a violence inside and it's up to us to exercise control over the internal drivers. Christians believe in facing the drivers and dealing with them ; training and teaching your body and mind require strong resistance- the word restraint is not in vogue amongst the modern rebels  even though its always needed to live in the world .

This is not an ideal world , but it is far far better caring parents teach restraint to the will from their parents than from those who don't care when they are teenagers or older. 

This is what we do to teach children about the real world outside .Children are not in charge and they will not always get what they want .The more you restrain unreasonable rebellion early, the less you have to do it later.  Its a parents choice to decide WHEN in love they HAVE to do it - Its not a choice if you and the nannies insist it is not a choice .

Yes there is a risk that we go too far - anger is normal and right is also normal ; Avoiding risk,  like avoiding admission of righteous anger doesn't make it go away . see earlier posts on anger and how to deal with it . 

It's only being realistic to face the restraint of the will early .

As Dr Phyl identifies each day - is the problem due to external factors or internal ones?