Know love
Welcome . Maybe the question is not "What do men and women want? " but "What do men and women need? "
Thursday, July 18, 2024
How to jump back into the idea of Marriage
It's a terrible State of cynicism we are in in 2024 and it's been some time in coming . For women who thought they liberated themselves, it's going to take some time to realize they haven't and they can't.
In our treatment of each other and the earth ,we have ALL gone the wrong way , justified the path and its desert like dryness WHEN we can ALL can make things new again by going to confession, turning around to see the cul de sac and its real nature .... about our attitude and mindset. We can all reset our sails and ditch the bitching.
Marriage is the best provided you find the right attitude to it .
We would be unwise to JUST see OUR problems as the worst because that cynicism about human nature pervades all things we do and are involved in. This deep hole reality then is therefore not new or as threatening as moderns make it ( as if its a revelation and , worse than that -its " the other blokes problem), We still haven't moved back to the position our forebears came to where we go to confession and start all over again - in new direction with a new view.
Sure we have all broken the rules , in our minds everyday , and we will again , But for Today decide to be faithful . Go on then ...Give yourself a clean sheet and start all over again
Monday, September 12, 2022
Give honor to those in Authority
(Queen Elizabeth died this week )
Love how the Joe and Josephine Blows of our world in their millions are celebrating the Queen (Queen Elizabeth died this week ) and the idea of a head of State that is beyond politics. There is a sense of unity there that doesn't and can't be spelt out in Law.
Their queen was like the one who footsteps she followed in was a listener .
The usurpers are in a muddle, but we all go into a huddle and rejoice because there is something beyond the pretences of power . All our power is still weakness and failure and we must at time s admit it and go forward in a way which accepts the truth . We must know love to really move on
Was talking to a friend recently who feels he never told his now deceased mother that he loved her.
We both realized ( thinking about our parents and their imperfections ) that if we remembered that our duty is to honor our parents and not necessarily to agree with them, we could say " I love you "( and they back on the same basis ) without hesitation .
As we were taught by the Master , we don't have to agree with everything you say or did but we can still love you, It's more that a feeling, its acceptance and forgiveness and something we should strive to say to each other just as it has been said to us .
Thursday, July 01, 2021
We need to see past what our parents knew to what the tribe knows
Peterson is reminding us baby boomers that we need to go back, look at what our parents lived by (eg good and bad , sloppy and self-centered , weak and weak willed ) and get out of the cul de sacs we went off on before we can go forward https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rc_NNjV0s1o
Thursday, November 14, 2019
Born to Love
We are all born to love !
But as Tina said --- where is it today ?
When our reason fails us on this , we need to go back and find foundations .
Such foundations can take some finding...but this is one is a good start .
You were born to chase the good .
and good is the mental equipment YOU have to do that . No one needs to tell you whats right but you need to be reconciled within yourself about whats wrong with you .
You have failed to live up to whats right.
You have been weak when being strong is your calling .
Your rationale is probably suspect at times -- just as mine is
We know this truth too about love .
We sometimes have to cruel to be kind " which in itself reminds us that to be deterministically rational may just get us confused ,
Truth is in a tension ; a paradox .
Sometimes truth is blocked by our own reason and sometimes its just beyond anyone's reasoning.
Options --contrasting ways to think about and getting on with loving
1. Rationalize yourself into it . -many who don't want to introduce unknown forces into this world want us to never make a decision till we have weighed up what we know- they say - to be thoroughly responsible we have to be thoroughly rational and vice versa .IMO this is a very limiting way to both think and live.
This ideology is asking us to think and act on incomplete information ( and maybe using emotion and rationalized emotion ) but then just leaves us at that point - a cop out bottom line convenience buy-- I am saying that , what we need , as our emotions and minds are connected is a holding position mechanism - a way of suspending disbelief ..
What we all do know from human experience is that we don't know . "What's love got to do with anything"
If ever there there was anything that's subject to rational abuse its love talk. To accept that its part of the structure of life is not enough when we want to use it -- rationally... . Can anyone resolve all problems by being specifically rational about their interpretation of whats good in a situation? . If
Love is not what we want it to be, who tells us what it is ? Whats promoted as love as Tina turner says is often anything but . Isn't any automatic presumption of love being love specifically dangerous as its products in politics shows . " You need to die because you are not as fit as I am and there are too many people in the world" .For good of all - That's natural rational love-- isn't it?
2. Born to love comes from beyond these earthly shores To have reasons beyond reason ability is not irrational, but possibly big picture wise . If we accept an answer as beyond reason and beyond your knowledge of our worlds natural forces you may have a chance of getting beyond reason to then better rationalize your experience .Its a worth a try , because no one really knows how the world really work , except that it invites romance and wonder .
Taking on assumptions you don't fully understand is not always easy, but it is how we learn . Assuming Karma , Justice and Judgement and fairness may help us learn and learn to love . If there was just only kindness without justice that would make that form of kindness a terrible uncaring ( even irrational ) thing
Take the ABC's question "are humans inherently kind" ? This question highlights the inadequacy of the post modern position 1 -
Position No 2 assumes we are more than structure and we have freedom to choose love . kindness or cruelty. There is pressure from population and place, but is crude number control the answer 4 us ?
Love has to do with possibilities and there are, as before, lots of possibilities for people in this world .
What we do know if we ever grow up is that we sometimes have to cruel to be kind.
So love is a bit about timing, not being superficial and being disagreeable like our mothers and our wives can ( not aiming ) to be . ( Note These 3 amigo rules that are not always acceptable in a court of moral law )
3. Thinking completely outside the square
If kindness is the weak force of Nature , maybe its the one that holds it together ( a lesson from recent cosmology ?) If God is not good, we have all the reason we nred to be bad
Biologically we are not inherently anything, but a structure in which forces can operate ; Forces of chemistry physiology etc - An amazing creation - that has the freedom to choose for good or for ill .For self or for the body. So you are happy in yourself and your own logic then are you ?
The biggest mistake any generation make is to blame the structure and deny the freedom of choice . Is that what the epistemological despair of our own generation all about -denying ourselves choice when it suits us to deny it ? The genes made me do it /
Modelling is how the Christian faith grew to be seen to be a workable philosophy. Testing a faith is a good way to build/ destroy a foundation - following Christ's way has stood the test of time
Our psyches tell us we all have a religion of sorts and quite logically OUR rational for using them , on the above logic must be at times, quite unreliable .
That means a belief , or something like Karma, doesn't always makes complete sense to a pedant , a flanuers or your everyday chatterer on the net. Don't go figure ...go test!
Who cares if you are a bit of a romantic .... if it works ?
Martin Luther King wrote the book "Free to love" . another way to live foundation idea; to love we need to be free to love
Modern determinists are all wrong in trying to say we are one thing or the other ; this leads people to say groups are either good or bad -- this 'ism" ism is not truth but projection . see JB Peterson's rule on housekeeping intelligence.
Martin Luther reminds us we are a duality . he learned the hard way ( by striving to be good ) that we are need a way forward from a dilemma we face every day. Read his 1600 booklet "On being a Christian" .
Monday, February 11, 2019
Domestic violence is on the increase - and what are men doing about it?
Sunday, December 02, 2018
Want love -- Start here !
https://www.ted.com/talks/mandy_len_catron_falling_in_love_is_the_easy_part?utm_campaign=social&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=t.co&utm_content=talk&utm_term=social-science
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
The search for a good man
As I said below( in the post below) no woman is ever going to find a happy man if both of you are not allowed to get angry .
My problem with modern reactions to domestic violence is they often fear violence rather than understand it
Maybe the same is true for the kids
.Children need to sense , not that their parents don't fight ( cause we all know they will) but how they do it ,when they do it and how they work for reconciliation. Modelling .
Sure anger risks violence but we must know and accept where the different types come from . Life is best with understanding not fear (as much domestic violence is --as is as a product to not show denying it as an naturally useful thing internally driven thing we must manage) .
Popular superficial myth making says anger is a sin . This is crap so the result of this PC talk is that things go underground :
If there is no outwardly angry man or woman, there will be plenty of repressed anger around (when the PC perverse morality version of anger is enthroned)
TYPES OF ANGER
Does the anger come from self will stamping like a child can show or is it" trespass good and proper", Is it based on "not getting your way "or "seeing others resisting whats good for them or the country"
Despite the simple moral talk , there is such a thing as right anger
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MARTIN LUTHER has been crossed off the good books for a long time because he said some truly terrible things about groups of people . While I am not here to defend that,he was a passionate man who "Table talk "and anecdotal notes suggests something close to the closest thing to domestic bliss any of us could hope for .Luther was truly human and taught how to live as a failing human being.
His small catechism for children is exquisitely remembered by many of us for the way it draws us into accepting the need for some rules in life; For drawing us into the love of God .
Apparently his wife Kattie was an aristocrat and well organised and when he , the swearing peasant who never had to be careful what he said, got together--- they made lots of good music.
Luther finally realized he learnt something from her . Quite something for a man to admit.
Can a good woman ask for anything more than that?.
Can the world not celebrate a man who ,for his faults,demonstrated in real life that any man however bad , can be subject to the grace and forgiveness of God. Know it ,celebrate it, teach it.
Can the world not celebrate a man who just by showing great political and personal courage showed the world a real man's way forward that has lasted to the present day .More on facebook page Real Men